Thank you ever so much
for visiting and reading the inaugural entry of what will become my
internationally celebrated on-line memoir.
Within, I will share with you my most private thoughts and
experiences. I sense you need to know
these things. I hope I am able to
inspire you and bring peace and comfort to your frenzied worlds.
My pursuit for helping
others began while I was reclining in that seal-skin Brookstone examination-massage
chair, awaiting the results from my phrenologist’s assessment of my trans-lobel
aura. I had been blogging all things
lifesaving and touching within that Justin Bieber documentary. I had wept uncontrollably through the entire
film, holding high my iPhone 7Gsx as if it was a Zippo and I was at the final
performance of an REO Speedwagon farewell tour.
When Dr. Mark E.
Desodd returned to the room he reminded me to get dressed and have a seat. He had wielded his trusty calipers to measure
the distance not only between the scar on the bridge of my nose and the scar in
my eyebrow, but also the distance between a chicken pox scar and a beauty
mark. The resulting ratio has brought to
light a critical assessment. Dr. Desodd
diagnosed me the comorbidity of adult onset narcissism and delusion.
I was absolutely relieved
to know this condition had been identified.
Regretfully, there is a no cure; however, a lifetime of weekly
treatments at Dr. Desodd’s clinic will provide some relief. My prognosis is undeterminable. However, I will persevere.
As I convalesce I will
be thinking of all of you, missing me so sadly.
Thank you in advance
for the many flowers, gifts, and well-wishes you will send my way.
I hope to hear from
you soon.
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